Wednesday, April 13

pardon the interruption

I'd been asked to keep my distance on this one. So there I was watching Qli and Koen through binoculars from the safety of a sandskimmer. They seemed to have the situation well in hand...

"Are you a real Scientist?"

By the Founder! I was so busy watching watching my children build the portal I hadn't noticed the half-naked, tattooed savage from the Mainland who just plopped himself down in the seat next to me!

"Do you always climb into other people's vehicles without asking?"

"There's no ban lines, Dude."

It took an extraordinary amount of will to keep my proper composure. We're supposed to set the example for these primitive folk, are we not? We were all Mainlanders once, weren't we?

"My name is Dr. Darien Mason. And you are?"

"Bishop-Three" is as close as I could pronounce it. He couldn't be "the third" of anything. He certainly didn't dress like a bishop.

"Do you play chess?'

"Yeah, how'd you guess?"

All right, perhaps he has some potential.

"Doc, what are those two doing in the next sim with all those GUTS?"

" can you see that from here?"

"I cammed over. It's a trick on the new Viewer..."

I interrupted him before his vulgar dialect made my head spin even further.

"They're..." Oh how do I explain this?

"They're arranging my demonic ancestor Bloodwing's still living components around the blast site so my neko son Koen...the one with the red fur there.. can use his Void Alchemy to establish an anti-aether conduit to the Digital Grid from the coordinates embedded in Bloodwing's quantum signature...thereby permitting my android daughter Qlippothic..."

"Dude! She's..."


"Oh she's your daughter? Never mind, keep going."

"Certainly. So Qli will energize the conduit with a galvanic tesseraction burst, creating a dimensional aperture to allow my other son Ash to make his way back to the Steamlands, apparently with a collection of refugees."

After an extended pause, he spoke up again.

"So this is some kind of art project? Are you using Machinima for this?"

I felt a migraine coming on.

"If I give you a card with the location of free merchandise, will you vanish abruptly as your kind are so fond of doing?"


Rhianon Jameson said...

I feel your pain, Doc. We've all been there.

HeadBurro Antfarm said...

Brilliant! :-D