"Of course it's me, you idiot!", snarled the Vortex with the twist of sarcasm only my brother Marcus could pull off. He rose from his seat and strode towards his side of the portal. "I stole your body before, but now I'm sharing this one! And such a powerful one this is! I helped slay the Hydra once and for all while your wretched alleycat of a son ran back to Babbage with his tail between his legs! To the victor goes the spoils!"
"Back to...Babbage? So that was Koen that took Qlippothic!"
The cat-demon prince shrugged as he lifted the black box. "As I said, that doesn't concern me. But this concerns us both." He pushed the box against his side of the circle floating above Poppa Legba's altar, and sparks poured from the aperture around the sides of the box as it permeated the membrane from the royal crater of Erebus to my side, deep in the swamps of New Toulouse.
Hesitantly, I accepted the gift with both hands. It was heavy, whatever it was. Still hot to the touch.
"This appeared on my throne, Darien. I only know a couple beings in the universe with the magic and the chuzzle..."
"Chutzpah?"
"Yeah, that...to pull a trick like that off."
I felt along the edges for a lid or a catch. "Have you tried to open it yet?"
The neko giggled. "Open it? I put it in there!"
A spring-loaded catch, opened form inside. That must be the reason the lib suddenly jerked upwards, nearly breaking my jaw and stunning me. I sank to my knees as Vortex howled laughter. I struggled to regain my focus as he berated me like a schoolyard bully singing "POP goes the neko!" My vision was blurred, making the pale disembodied hand resting in the red velvet inside the box appear to have several sets of fingers.
"You've heard of a Jack-in-the-Box?" shouted Vortex. "This is a Jeremiah-in-the-Box!"
My eyes widened with terror as the hand sprang to life and leaped towards me, latching itself in a choking grip around my throat!
Tuesday, April 20
Thursday, April 8
The rending of the veil
My children conspiring against me. Flying off in a clockwork galleon. My vampiric ancestor Aleister has to be involved. Has he cast his tainted cloak of undeath over my son yet again? Is he again reprogramming Qlippothic into a murder-doll? Why is Ash abetting them? This will not do at all. I may not be Regent, but someone must maintain order in this family!
As long as I'm in the bayou of New Tolouse, I should seek help from the forces here. Baroness Amber presented me with a small effigy of Poppa Legba and a copy of Momma Amber's Guide to Voodoo for Tourists.
Poppa Legba is the go-between of the loa, the Voodoo pantheon. I found a secluded location by the water where the song of the calling frogs was almost deafening. The night mist was pungent with the muck of rotting plant life.
I constructed an altar there. I lit a very rare cigar as an offering (I recognized the brand as my father's favorite) and poured a glass of premium dark rum to the brim as I invoked him.
Immediately the chirping of the frogs died out. Even the ever-present buzzing of the insects seemed to fade. As I waited, the ember of the cigar pulsed between cherry red and white hot, puffing thick tobacco into the night mist. The glass of rum lowered visibly until it emptied. Staring at the...for lack of a better word doll fashioned in his image, I beseeched him for a favor.
"Poppa Legba. If you please, I must speak with the Vortex."
I heard the sound of distant thunder rolling across the marshes. Vague orbs of greenish light hovered in the darkness between the trees. I stepped back as a rift opened above the altar, curling red and black borders spreading like a cigar burn in the fabric of space.
"A call from whom? Darien? Yes, yes, I know him. Fine. I'll accept."
On the other side, I saw a neko with majestic horns arcing from his temples. He sat in a throne forged of metal ribbons, pondering a black box he held in his hands. Crimson gazed up at me in surprise as his ears twitched.
"Well surprise surprise! What do you want?"
Judging from the informal greeting, I decided to skip the lengthy exaltations expected of the ruler of Erebus.
"Vortex. Aleister has kidnapped Qlippothic and Koen..."
The neko lifted his head back and cackled, baring his fangs.
"Why should any of that matter to us? We don't need that cowardly kitten any more, nor that brass toy of yours!
Demon-Prince or no, I felt my fist clench at such disrespect. But wait...that maniacal laughter was so familiar...
...from the prison of my brain jar I screamed in helpless silence as the body that was rightfully mine pressed its face against my glass prison, cackling in unbridled madness...
I gasped in disbelief. "MARCUS!"
As long as I'm in the bayou of New Tolouse, I should seek help from the forces here. Baroness Amber presented me with a small effigy of Poppa Legba and a copy of Momma Amber's Guide to Voodoo for Tourists.
Poppa Legba is the go-between of the loa, the Voodoo pantheon. I found a secluded location by the water where the song of the calling frogs was almost deafening. The night mist was pungent with the muck of rotting plant life.
I constructed an altar there. I lit a very rare cigar as an offering (I recognized the brand as my father's favorite) and poured a glass of premium dark rum to the brim as I invoked him.
Immediately the chirping of the frogs died out. Even the ever-present buzzing of the insects seemed to fade. As I waited, the ember of the cigar pulsed between cherry red and white hot, puffing thick tobacco into the night mist. The glass of rum lowered visibly until it emptied. Staring at the...for lack of a better word doll fashioned in his image, I beseeched him for a favor.
"Poppa Legba. If you please, I must speak with the Vortex."
I heard the sound of distant thunder rolling across the marshes. Vague orbs of greenish light hovered in the darkness between the trees. I stepped back as a rift opened above the altar, curling red and black borders spreading like a cigar burn in the fabric of space.
"A call from whom? Darien? Yes, yes, I know him. Fine. I'll accept."
On the other side, I saw a neko with majestic horns arcing from his temples. He sat in a throne forged of metal ribbons, pondering a black box he held in his hands. Crimson gazed up at me in surprise as his ears twitched.
"Well surprise surprise! What do you want?"
Judging from the informal greeting, I decided to skip the lengthy exaltations expected of the ruler of Erebus.
"Vortex. Aleister has kidnapped Qlippothic and Koen..."
The neko lifted his head back and cackled, baring his fangs.
"Why should any of that matter to us? We don't need that cowardly kitten any more, nor that brass toy of yours!
Demon-Prince or no, I felt my fist clench at such disrespect. But wait...that maniacal laughter was so familiar...
...from the prison of my brain jar I screamed in helpless silence as the body that was rightfully mine pressed its face against my glass prison, cackling in unbridled madness...
I gasped in disbelief. "MARCUS!"
Friday, April 2
Friends on the same side, Powers on the other side
Perhaps I was a bit hard on her. But when human life is at stake, prescriptions must be followed exactly.
Qlippothic's disappearance continues to infuriate me. I contacted Ash aboard the Clockwork Caravel to have him pinpoint her location from orbit. He complied, but the ship's radio went dead shortly thereafter. Amarantis is involved on another assignment and unable to assist.
There was some excellent news this week from Colonel O'Toole and Lady Riel. They both have been trusted friends for a very long time, and it distressed me to see them at odds.
I visited New Tolouse to share my elation with Mama Gabi. While admiring the sights, i ran into another old friend, Lady Amber Palowakski. She now resides on a stretch of swampland there. The magic is strong on her land, of course. As we relaxed by the campfire, a resident tree spirit circled me playfully, nodding its head to the drumbeats of an ongoing ceremony somewhere deep within the bog.
I explained my present difficulties, and she explained that the loa, the spirits of this land, may be willing to help me if offered the right gifts. I have seen voodoo magic first-hand, it not to be trifled with. If the loa can open a portal from New Babbage (reality-bomb fallout and all) and back to New Tolouse, then they can create a portal to anywhere.
Qlippothic's disappearance continues to infuriate me. I contacted Ash aboard the Clockwork Caravel to have him pinpoint her location from orbit. He complied, but the ship's radio went dead shortly thereafter. Amarantis is involved on another assignment and unable to assist.
There was some excellent news this week from Colonel O'Toole and Lady Riel. They both have been trusted friends for a very long time, and it distressed me to see them at odds.
I visited New Tolouse to share my elation with Mama Gabi. While admiring the sights, i ran into another old friend, Lady Amber Palowakski. She now resides on a stretch of swampland there. The magic is strong on her land, of course. As we relaxed by the campfire, a resident tree spirit circled me playfully, nodding its head to the drumbeats of an ongoing ceremony somewhere deep within the bog.
I explained my present difficulties, and she explained that the loa, the spirits of this land, may be willing to help me if offered the right gifts. I have seen voodoo magic first-hand, it not to be trifled with. If the loa can open a portal from New Babbage (reality-bomb fallout and all) and back to New Tolouse, then they can create a portal to anywhere.
Thursday, April 1
Tuesday, March 30
Miss Jameson Searches for The Scientist, and Antfarm is Approached by an Angel
He's a sneaky fellow, that one.
The Scientist - Part 1
The Scientist - Part 2
What of the Angel?
Oh. And a Minor Mishap at Mason Labs. Let's not speak of this one again.
The Scientist - Part 1
The Scientist - Part 2
What of the Angel?
Oh. And a Minor Mishap at Mason Labs. Let's not speak of this one again.
Thursday, March 25
none will be saved
"FATHERRRR!"
Qlippothic screamed as her Sephiroth shattered in a cascade of deepest hues as breathtaking as it was heart-wrenching to behold.
Darien lay silent on the floor, his white lab coat scorched and cut to ribbons, oozing with the emerald serum that had replaced his blood as his body continued to smolder.
"Daddy?" Moaned Wren as she crawled out from under him. Looking down, she saw that she was undamaged. Her father had taken the full brunt of the explosion for her. She flipped him over on his back. She covered her mouth as she gasped. She was no stranger to gore at this point, but to see her father in this extreme condition...
Her expression turned to relief as she watched his organs draw back into his body by themselves. His open fractures abruptly snapped back into place. He slowly sat up. Both lenses of his goggles were shattered, but the emerald glow in his eyes shone even brighter than before, cutting through the smoke filling the laboratory like a foglight.
"QLI!" He quickly limped past the equipment array, ignoring the still exploding showers of sparks. He reached the table where his Firstbuilt lay just in time to see the glow of her eyes fade to complete darkness. Her cranium was warped from the explosions inside. Leaving the top of her metallic skull misshapen and and dulled from the heat. Her face, at least, still kept its serene mask.
"Qlippothic..." Darien shook his head as he cupped his hand behind her head, ignoring the sizzling sounds as it burned his flesh. "My God, Qli...I'm sorry...I should have listened to you..." Glowing green tears hissed as they landed on near-molten brass.
"Daddy?" Whispered Wren as she quietly followed him to the table. "Is she...repairable?"
He shook his head sadly. "No Wren. The Sephiroth were unique. Irreplaceable. Her soul was bound to them. Unless..." He tapped his fingers on Qlippothic's chassis as his burning gaze fell down towards the revived urchin. "Wren? How would you like an upgrade?"
A thunder of shattering glass and splintering wood echoed through the consulate as the clank dropped through the roof, landing upright on the laboratory floor with a tremor that shook the Consulate.
"No, Doctor Mason..." boomed the construct as it lumbered across the cracking tiles, "this madness ends now." The pistons of massive claws whined as they stretched forward, opening to reveal the large bores aimed squarely at the Scientist. "By the authority granted me by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach in matters of the Consulate, I place you under arrest for the murder of my sister..."
Ash was unable to complete his sentence as a blur of a tentacle lashed around his exoskeleton and slammed him through a wall of equipment. The tentacle slowly retracted through Darien's sleeve as he sneered at the fallen android.
"Foolish CLANK! You dare to think you can stand in the way of SCIENCE!" His voice grew increasingly bestial as he spoke, almost as much a bubbling roar than speech. Wren stared at the tentacle a moment, then quickly ran for the exit as Darien continued. "Even though her spirit was consumed, the experiment was a SUCCESS!" Darien advanced slowly as crimson wings erupted from his back and quickly warped into misshapen and tattered banners. "For the span of three minutes and forty seconds we recreated the effect of the ancient Arcane Towers that once powered this region!" he cackled. "Magical energy is flooding into New Babbage as we speak! This is a new reality that only *I* fully comprehend! The Steamlands shall BEG me to teach them my revised laws of physics for this BOLD NEW ERA, the PAX MASONICA!!!"
Ash's retort was a crack and flash of his Tesla cannon as lightning wrapped around the Scientist, hurling him backwards through the air. A jagged metal I-beam pierced through his chest as his limbs trembled violently. Several sickening popping sounds erupted from his frame as the electricity dispersed within the next few seconds, leaving his barely recognizable body to hang limp from where he was impaled.
Ash manually pried open the containment unit of his now depleted exoskeleton. With an expressionless metal face he scanned the damage to the room, and focused his sensors upwards at his creator.
"Life signs: Negative. Pandorus neutralized..." He telescoped his legs to reach the ceiling. He wrapped his arms around the charred corpse and began to pull it free from the beam. "I had no choice..."
"NOW YOU HAVE NONE!" Shrieked the shape that expanded around Ash as it sprouted a ghastly array of writhing limbs. The android struggled only a moment before it was crushed inwards. The metal shell fell backwards on its stilted legs to collapse in the corner. Its chest was ripped open, and the dust that was once its soul-chip floated from it to mingle with the thick layers of smoke.
Bony limbs stretched to the floor, dozens of claws on the misshapen appendages scraped deep gashes of chaotic patterns in the tiles. "SUCH DELICIOUS POWER! MORE! MORE!" The roof peeled upwards as the gargantuan horror that was once Darien James Mason savored the screams of terrified mortals outside.
"IT IS ALL MINE!" It screeched through what now seemed a nearly insectoid jaws. "NEW BABBAGE! CALEDON! STEELTOPIA! STEELHEAD! THIS WORLD SHALL BE FOREVER..."
The whistle of mortar rounds drowned out the tirade as the monster shuddered under a barrage of Reality Enforcement Bombs.
Minutes later when the dust cleared, Darien found himself half buried in rubble. He was choking on dust, and coughing very red blood down his chin. Half a brick fell from the mound behind him and glanced off his skull as the ground shook again. Opening a swollen eye as best he could, he strained his neck to stare up at the colossus of Lord Smashington as its eyes shone down on him.
"Don't stop to gloat, Doctor Obolensky," whispered Darien as his chest heaved with rattling breaths. "Just finish this...finish..."
"TURN IT OFF!" screamed Qlippothic as she stared at the images glowing within the metal hoop of Aleister's machine. "TURN IT OFF!"
Koen sat in the corner, his hands covering his face and his tail curled into his lap. Aleister turned a dial and the scene of Lumina, Koen, Amarantis and Wren gathered at a black obelisk faded to black.
"My Timewindow has shown you vat vas der most likely outcome of der Doktor's experiment," stated the vampire calmly. "I could not stop Koen from using der Retroaktif Continuum Device before...it interfered vit der frequencies..."
"But it worked this time," interjected the neko.
"I zink you vill agree, zat in zis instance...der ends justified der meanz, Ja? Huntil vee can cure Darien of der madness, vee must keep you avay from him. At all costs."
Qlippothic lay quietly on the table for a few minutes before she spoke again. "Agreed. I will stay here on the Bloodwing's Revenge and help you devise a plan to cure my father. Now please reconnect my motor processors."
Qlippothic screamed as her Sephiroth shattered in a cascade of deepest hues as breathtaking as it was heart-wrenching to behold.
Darien lay silent on the floor, his white lab coat scorched and cut to ribbons, oozing with the emerald serum that had replaced his blood as his body continued to smolder.
"Daddy?" Moaned Wren as she crawled out from under him. Looking down, she saw that she was undamaged. Her father had taken the full brunt of the explosion for her. She flipped him over on his back. She covered her mouth as she gasped. She was no stranger to gore at this point, but to see her father in this extreme condition...
Her expression turned to relief as she watched his organs draw back into his body by themselves. His open fractures abruptly snapped back into place. He slowly sat up. Both lenses of his goggles were shattered, but the emerald glow in his eyes shone even brighter than before, cutting through the smoke filling the laboratory like a foglight.
"QLI!" He quickly limped past the equipment array, ignoring the still exploding showers of sparks. He reached the table where his Firstbuilt lay just in time to see the glow of her eyes fade to complete darkness. Her cranium was warped from the explosions inside. Leaving the top of her metallic skull misshapen and and dulled from the heat. Her face, at least, still kept its serene mask.
"Qlippothic..." Darien shook his head as he cupped his hand behind her head, ignoring the sizzling sounds as it burned his flesh. "My God, Qli...I'm sorry...I should have listened to you..." Glowing green tears hissed as they landed on near-molten brass.
"Daddy?" Whispered Wren as she quietly followed him to the table. "Is she...repairable?"
He shook his head sadly. "No Wren. The Sephiroth were unique. Irreplaceable. Her soul was bound to them. Unless..." He tapped his fingers on Qlippothic's chassis as his burning gaze fell down towards the revived urchin. "Wren? How would you like an upgrade?"
A thunder of shattering glass and splintering wood echoed through the consulate as the clank dropped through the roof, landing upright on the laboratory floor with a tremor that shook the Consulate.
"No, Doctor Mason..." boomed the construct as it lumbered across the cracking tiles, "this madness ends now." The pistons of massive claws whined as they stretched forward, opening to reveal the large bores aimed squarely at the Scientist. "By the authority granted me by Baron Klaus Wulfenbach in matters of the Consulate, I place you under arrest for the murder of my sister..."
Ash was unable to complete his sentence as a blur of a tentacle lashed around his exoskeleton and slammed him through a wall of equipment. The tentacle slowly retracted through Darien's sleeve as he sneered at the fallen android.
"Foolish CLANK! You dare to think you can stand in the way of SCIENCE!" His voice grew increasingly bestial as he spoke, almost as much a bubbling roar than speech. Wren stared at the tentacle a moment, then quickly ran for the exit as Darien continued. "Even though her spirit was consumed, the experiment was a SUCCESS!" Darien advanced slowly as crimson wings erupted from his back and quickly warped into misshapen and tattered banners. "For the span of three minutes and forty seconds we recreated the effect of the ancient Arcane Towers that once powered this region!" he cackled. "Magical energy is flooding into New Babbage as we speak! This is a new reality that only *I* fully comprehend! The Steamlands shall BEG me to teach them my revised laws of physics for this BOLD NEW ERA, the PAX MASONICA!!!"
Ash's retort was a crack and flash of his Tesla cannon as lightning wrapped around the Scientist, hurling him backwards through the air. A jagged metal I-beam pierced through his chest as his limbs trembled violently. Several sickening popping sounds erupted from his frame as the electricity dispersed within the next few seconds, leaving his barely recognizable body to hang limp from where he was impaled.
Ash manually pried open the containment unit of his now depleted exoskeleton. With an expressionless metal face he scanned the damage to the room, and focused his sensors upwards at his creator.
"Life signs: Negative. Pandorus neutralized..." He telescoped his legs to reach the ceiling. He wrapped his arms around the charred corpse and began to pull it free from the beam. "I had no choice..."
"NOW YOU HAVE NONE!" Shrieked the shape that expanded around Ash as it sprouted a ghastly array of writhing limbs. The android struggled only a moment before it was crushed inwards. The metal shell fell backwards on its stilted legs to collapse in the corner. Its chest was ripped open, and the dust that was once its soul-chip floated from it to mingle with the thick layers of smoke.
Bony limbs stretched to the floor, dozens of claws on the misshapen appendages scraped deep gashes of chaotic patterns in the tiles. "SUCH DELICIOUS POWER! MORE! MORE!" The roof peeled upwards as the gargantuan horror that was once Darien James Mason savored the screams of terrified mortals outside.
"IT IS ALL MINE!" It screeched through what now seemed a nearly insectoid jaws. "NEW BABBAGE! CALEDON! STEELTOPIA! STEELHEAD! THIS WORLD SHALL BE FOREVER..."
The whistle of mortar rounds drowned out the tirade as the monster shuddered under a barrage of Reality Enforcement Bombs.
Minutes later when the dust cleared, Darien found himself half buried in rubble. He was choking on dust, and coughing very red blood down his chin. Half a brick fell from the mound behind him and glanced off his skull as the ground shook again. Opening a swollen eye as best he could, he strained his neck to stare up at the colossus of Lord Smashington as its eyes shone down on him.
"Don't stop to gloat, Doctor Obolensky," whispered Darien as his chest heaved with rattling breaths. "Just finish this...finish..."
"TURN IT OFF!" screamed Qlippothic as she stared at the images glowing within the metal hoop of Aleister's machine. "TURN IT OFF!"
Koen sat in the corner, his hands covering his face and his tail curled into his lap. Aleister turned a dial and the scene of Lumina, Koen, Amarantis and Wren gathered at a black obelisk faded to black.
"My Timewindow has shown you vat vas der most likely outcome of der Doktor's experiment," stated the vampire calmly. "I could not stop Koen from using der Retroaktif Continuum Device before...it interfered vit der frequencies..."
"But it worked this time," interjected the neko.
"I zink you vill agree, zat in zis instance...der ends justified der meanz, Ja? Huntil vee can cure Darien of der madness, vee must keep you avay from him. At all costs."
Qlippothic lay quietly on the table for a few minutes before she spoke again. "Agreed. I will stay here on the Bloodwing's Revenge and help you devise a plan to cure my father. Now please reconnect my motor processors."
Tuesday, March 23
Yes, "Awesome" is the word I am looking for.
My thanks to the Heliograph for bringing this to my attention.
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